You want to know even more about me? Sure, I am flattered that you are interested, although I am not sure what more can I say that is not written in the front page or my posts already. Maybe a short summary of me and my blog is in order here?
Who are you?
Well, like I said, nobody important… Just a guy who lives somewhere in Europe. But there are many things that interest me.
I work with computers, that is my current job and the source of my income. Ever since our family got our first computer, I was always interested in how it works. Luckily, our current society really values IT work, so I feel very lucky to say that I am in a position where my work is what I enjoy doing.
I love music, it has been a huge part of my life since as long as I remember. Even before I started school I have memories of making percussion music from random things I would find in my grandparents’ garden, or making weird “string” instruments from stuff I find lying around as well. As soon as our family got the internet, I have been diving deep into exploring the music sphere.
In middle school, I was already deep into death metal, goregrind and similar genres. By high school I was into noise, breakcore, free jazz and what have you. So really, I like a lot of genres. Metal, Techno, House, Rap, Industrial, Jazz, Drone, Hyperpop, Screamo, and I mean it when I say that music is important to me. Also, I collect CDs and vinyls, I’m currently learning to play guitar, I DJ’d for a bit, sometimes I make electronic music as well.
Reading other people’s stories also drives me, which is why I enjoy books, blogs, and in general just meeting people and chatting about various topics. Empathy is important to me, and I can vicariously feel other people’s joy as well as pain. Through sharing stories about ourselves, I believe that we grow and learn how we should act in the world.
Previous point might be why I also enjoy learning languages and reading about different cultures in general. Currently I can speak 3 languages fluently, and recently I picked up learning Japanese (in the true spirit of being a weeb). My goal is to become a polyglot.
Besides that, I also took up weightlifting. My results are pretty meek at the moment, but I am determined to see myself become strong in a couple years time.
Why did you start writing this blog?
The reason is very simple. At the moment of writing this, I have been journaling in private for over a year now. Quite often I will write short think pieces about various topics that concern me. However, there is always some inner need inside me to share my thoughts with others. Somehow, it feels like even if I write down my thoughts and feelings, if nobody else reads them, then they weren’t ever real. Maybe it’s some kind of need for validation? Honestly, I am not sure.
But also, I have had some kind of existential crisis recently, which hit me much harder than usual… I don’t want to disappear from this world without leaving something in it. I want my legacy to live on. Somehow. And this blog is but one of my attempts at it. A corner of some data center occupied by this website which hosts a portion of my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. Even when I’m gone, people will be able to read these words and continue conversing with me, as if I have never really went away.
What is the meaning behind your blog name?
“Scriptures From The Bamboo Forest Of The Lost.” It’s a reference to a place from Touhou. Personal history time! Touhou is very important to me, it is one of those things that I would say “define” me. Touhou was one of the first fandoms that I encountered when I started using the internet. And honestly, how could you not encounter it back in the day? Touhou was everywhere. And so I became a fan of it as well. A really hardcore fan at that, it was all I cared about from waking up until I went to bed, for many, many years.
And I still love Touhou, honestly. Sure, I dabbled with other fandoms throughout the years. But somehow I keep going back to Touhou. The world, the stories, the characters, they’re all so unique, so full of personality. Other fans of Touhou might have picked up by now what kind of character my nickname – Moko – which I use to this day, is a reference to.
Fujiwara no Mokou is a really unique character to me. She is immortal, has the power of the phoenix, and lives alone in the bamboo forest. Some say she also runs a yakitori stand, but that’s neither here nor there. Really, something about her powers, her story, and her design just drive me towards her. Maybe there’s something “mythical” and “subconscious” going on with my fascination with her, which I have been considering strongly ever since I started reading Jung’s works.
Like how she is immortal and can recover from any devastation caused to her body. Maybe we as people should look up to the archetype of the phoenix more and remember that no matter how many times we feel devastated, everything in life is a cycle and we will be reborn from this experience, stronger than ever.
Or maybe it’s how she can manipulate fire, and really one of the things that separates humans from all other beings is our mastery and control over fire.
Or maybe it’s how she lives alone in the bamboo forest, and is quite aloof but really is softhearted and helps anyone who enters the forest and becomes lost? And doesn’t really get involved in things despite being one of the strongest beings in Gensokyo, able to rival even youkai despite being human? Maybe the Bamboo Forest of the Lost is like my subconscious, and Mokou is my anima?
Or maybe she just looks cool and she’s (literally) hot and that’s all there is to it?
Anyway, that’s the reason I picked this name for the blog. To me, writing stories is like going into my subconscious, which is like the Bamboo forest, getting lost, meeting a guide there, who could be Mokou acting as my anima, and returning with something new every time that my consciousness can think about. It would have probably been cool to make the entire blog “in character” as well, but I want it to be more personal, and not me pretending to be someone.
Where else can I find you?
Don’t be shy to add and contact me on any of these. I would love to talk to you about anything at all.